Relatable Rhythms

Tag: music

  • The Skip Button Still Works

    The Skip Button Still Works

    On India.Arie and Brownstone singer Nicci Gilbert condemning the summer scam anthem, “Spend Dat Sh*t😎.

    Are the R&B/neo-soul royalty and internet thugs truly this agitated?

    This is no different than anything Yung Miami—either solo or with JT in City Girls —has released before. It’s no different than songs Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, or Nicki Minaj have put out. It’s no different than the music Lil’ Kim or Foxy Brown was making back when India.Arie and Brownstone were also releasing albums.

    So why is this suddenly the conversation?

    Is it my favorite song? Absolutely not. It never would be.

    So what does that mean for me?

    I don’t listen to it.

    Just like there are plenty of songs I don’t listen to.

    As someone who genuinely loves music and consumes a ridiculous amount of it, I have a place in my heart for people who know exactly who they are artistically and stay committed to that. Yung Miami is exactly who she has always been. This song reflects nothing more than the person she’s presented to us since the City Girls first became popular.

    I’m not sure why anyone is surprised.

    I’m even less sure why people are writing dissertations about it. Present company included😉

    Now let’s be honest.

    I love India.Arie. Acoustic Soul is a masterpiece. Voyage to India is also an excellent album. Beyond those, I can’t honestly say I regularly recommend her full catalog, but those first two projects made an incredible impression on me and I’ll never take that away from her. I respect her opinion as an artist.

    Nicci Gilbert is part of one of the pioneering R&B girl groups of the ‘90s. I’ve danced to Brownstone. I’ve butchered Brownstone at karaoke. I have fond memories of their music.

    I honestly have no idea what she does now other than lose a four-year court battle against the creator of P-Valley and occasionally hop online to criticize artists while people cheer her on.

    And to everyone who’s upset because Yung Miami publicly stood beside Diddy…

    Get in line.

    At this point, it feels like Diddy is probably going to get out early anyway.

    That doesn’t make it any less shameful. It doesn’t excuse her support of him. I think standing beside him was a terrible look.

    But what exactly are y’all about to do about it?

    Seriously.

    There are one million other conversations we could be having as people who ultimately have no control over what these grown adults choose to do.

    The argument that music like this somehow takes opportunities away from “real music” also doesn’t make much sense to me.

    India.Arie and Nicci Gilbert—if they were actively making music today—don’t even occupy the same lane as Careesha. Categorically, they aren’t competing for the same audience.

    And I don’t think Yung Miami is about to sweep the Grammys like Lauryn in 1999 either.

    Could she win a BET Award? Sure.

    A Soul Train Award?

    Maybe.

    A VMA if the video goes crazy?

    Absolutely.

    A Billboard Music Award? I could see it.

    But I don’t think we need to worry about her dominating the Grammy categories traditionally occupied by artists like India.Arie or Brownstone.

    Then again…

    Three 6 Mafia has an Oscar.

    So what do I know?

    As for the argument that music like this reaches the masses and promotes the wrong message…

    It’s tale as old as N.W.A. in the 80s.

    Snoop & Lil Kim in the 90s

    Trina and DMX in the 2000s

    Kodak Black and Nicki in the 2010s

    Yung Miami it’s just today’s version of an old story.

    Grown people are going to do what grown people want to do.

    If those grown people have children, it’s their responsibility to make sure those children aren’t consuming music that isn’t meant for them.

    There is no universe where I think children should be listening to Yung Miami.

    None.

    But we can’t keep holding artists responsible for parenting decisions that belong to parents.

    We can’t expect musicians to change our communities. That’s a collective job.

    If you want different messages in the culture, then put different messages into the culture.

    R&B is experiencing an incredible resurgence right now. Nostalgia is everywhere. People are craving music that feels familiar, comforting, and authentic.

    Instead of getting on Beyoncé’s internet crying about another grown woman’s rap song — a genre completely different from the one you’d be making music in anyway —capitalize on the love people already have for you.

    People are selling out tours performing music they released twenty-five years ago.

    Get the group back together.

    Release a new single.

    Flip one of your classics with a fresh sample.

    Do something.

    Millennials absolutely love seeing the artists they grew up with come back.

    But let’s also be honest…

    Millennials like ratchet shit too.

    We contain multitudes.

    “If you can’t run with it, run from it.”

    That’s what Weezy said.

    And while we’re talking about things worth being upset over…

    Our country is being run by a gang of rodeo clowns.

    If you’re going to spend energy complaining on the internet, maybe direct some of that passion toward something that actually impacts people’s lives—and then use your voice to do something meaningful.

    That’s not to say I’ll be standing outside the studio demanding Yung Miami release more ratchet anthems.

    I won’t.

    But I absolutely support her right to make them.

    Just like she has every right to release the song, I have every right to skip it.

    I don’t have to download it.

    I don’t have to add it to my playlist.

    Or…

    I can laugh at the memes and videos because, at this point in the world, I’ll take all the laughs I can get.

    This song doesn’t improve my life.

    It doesn’t ruin it either.

    I can’t relate to it.

    Sometimes that’s the point.

    But who am I?

    Just a lover of music.

  • I Don’t Collect Records

    I Don’t Collect Records

    Well…

    That’s not entirely true.

    I do collect records. My shelves would argue that point rather passionately.

    But somewhere between the thrift stores, the dusty record bins, estate sales, and the occasional financial decision that should probably require a second opinion, I realized I wasn’t really collecting vinyl.

    I was collecting stories.

    Some people collect first pressings.

    Some chase rare imports.

    Some are hunting for the most valuable copy of an album ever made.

    Me? I’m trying to build a biography.

    Every record on my shelf reminds me of someone. Or somewhere.

    Or some version of myself that I almost forgot.

    My sister actually got to vinyl before I did. I don’t remember the exact year, but somewhere around 2018 or 2019, my cousin called and said he was cleaning out his house. He had boxes of records from his own collection and from my grandparents’ house. My sister and I immediately made plans to go digging.

    He had gems.

    The kind of records you only hope to stumble across.

    When my sister casually asked if she could have his original pressing of Thriller, I nearly came out of my skin. I knew what copies like that cost. More importantly, I knew this one had been bought in 1982. It wasn’t just a Michael Jackson album anymore. It was history. Family history.

    That was the moment.

    Not when I bought my first record.

    Not when I bought my first turntable.

    That moment.

    I remember thinking, One day, when I stop spending money on all the other random things, this is going to be my random thing.

    Turns out I wasn’t wrong.

    Now…have I made perfectly reasonable financial decisions every step of this journey? Absolutely not.

    Earlier this year, I wandered into a record store in Hilton Head, SC and found an original, unused pressing of Purple Rain tucked into the used bins.

    No price.

    Never a good sign.

    I carried it to the counter and asked the owner how he knew it had never been played.

    He told me he bought it from an estate sale. The woman who owned it loved Prince so much that she displayed the album on her shelf but never actually played it.

    Honestly?

    I understood her.

    I laughed and told him, “There’s no price on it. Don’t break my heart.”

    One hundred dollars later, I walked out with it.

    Still my most expensive record.

    Still worth every penny.

    It’s Prince.

    Some things don’t require further explanation.

    But somewhere along the way, buying records stopped being the fun part.

    The digging became the adventure.

    I’ll never forget walking into Papa Jazz in Columbia, SC for the first time. Jazz was playing through the speakers instead of classic rock blasting at full volume. I immediately felt at home.

    Naturally, I started in the jazz section.

    Naturally.

    I got halfway down the first aisle before realizing there were records underneath every single bin too.

    I actually stopped walking.

    I looked down.

    Looked back up.

    Clutched my metaphorical pearls.

    And started trying to develop a strategy because I already had ten records in my hands and had barely made it through one section.

    If you’ve ever seen me in a record store, you already know.

    I’m going to the jazz section first.

    Every single time.

    Sometimes because I’m looking for somebody specific.

    Sometimes because somebody I’ve never heard of is waiting there.

    That’s how I found Ahmad Jamal.

    I was flipping through a three-for-twenty bin in Raleigh looking for Sonny Rollins when I noticed a cover with an old Cadillac beneath glowing neon lights.

    I’d never heard of Ahmad Jamal.

    So I did what I always do.

    I put one AirPod in, opened Apple Music, and hit play.

    The first notes sounded like closing time.

    Like sitting in a quiet lounge with a good tequila while the conversations get softer and the lights get lower.

    Like night air.

    Like stillness.

    I bought the record immediately.

    Then I spent days learning everything I could about him.

    That album also taught me something about myself.

    I don’t actually like noisy jazz.

    I like jazz that gives your thoughts room to breathe.

    The older my collection gets, the more I realize I’m not just buying music.

    I’m buying memories.

    Sometimes they’re mine. Sometimes they’re borrowed.

    Earlier this year, my great-aunt gave my sister a stack of original records from the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s.

    My sister very graciously let me look through them before claiming everything for herself—which was only fair because technically they were hers.

    I asked for exactly one: Roberta Flack’s Killing Me Softly.

    An original copy from 1973.

    I took it home, lowered the needle, and sat on my living room floor reading the liner notes.

    Then I texted my aunt.

    Because suddenly it hit me.

    In 2026, I was listening to the exact album she bought more than fifty years ago.

    Maybe she danced to it.

    Maybe she and my grandmother played it while watching my older cousins run around outside.

    Maybe they laughed through Side A and talked through Side B.

    I wasn’t there.

    But somehow…

    Now I was.

    That’s what I love most about vinyl.

    It lets you borrow time.

    The same thing happens every Christmas.

    Well…almost.

    I’m still searching for an original copy of The Jackson 5 Christmas Album.

    Not because it’s rare.

    Not because it’ll be worth anything.

    Because every time Michael starts singing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” I’m eight years old again in my grandmother’s house on Georgia Street in Vallejo, California.

    Some songs don’t just bring back memories.

    They unlock rooms you’ve forgotten existed.

    People are sometimes surprised when they see my shelves or wishlist.

    I think they expect to find mostly the music I blast in my car or constantly send to my friends.

    Instead, they find Ella Fitzgerald singing country songs.

    Jazz records older than my parents’ marriage.

    Soul albums passed down through family.

    Gospel.

    Funk.

    Singer-songwriters.

    Records that most people skip right past because they’re tucked into the bargain bins.

    That’s okay.

    They’re looking for different things than I am.

    I’m not trying to own the most valuable collection.

    I’m trying to own the most honest one.

    Because if you spend enough time looking at my shelves, you’ll eventually stop seeing records.

    You’ll start seeing my family.

    My travels.

    My first heartbreak.

    My concerts.

    My curiosity.

    My faith.

    My childhood.

    You’ll see the soundtrack to a life that’s still being written.

    And maybe that’s why vinyl feels so natural to me.

    I’ve always believed every story has a soundtrack.

    These just happen to spin at thirty-three and a third revolutions per minute.

  • More Than a Workout Playlist

    More Than a Workout Playlist

    Stick around here long enough and you’ll figure out pretty quickly how integral my faith is to my journey.

    As the daughter of a preacher, Christianity has been part of my story since before I was born. I like to joke that I came out of the womb screaming hymns. Or maybe a BeBe & CeCe Winans song. Or Shirley Caesar if I was feeling particularly dramatic.

    Music has always been my favorite way to experience my faith.

    Don’t get me wrong—I love a good sermon because that’s how we learn. That’s how we grow. I love Bible study.

    But if I’m honest…

    I feel closest to God when the music starts.

    But this isn’t meant to be a sermon. This Is a post about a different part of my faith journey. The part where I got healthy. The part where I realized that God only gave me one body. While I can alter it and change it and do things to it, It’s still just the one. And it’s important that I take care of it.

    Four years ago, At the top of the year in 2022, I was nearly 260 pounds. I know, right? Well, you won’t know, because you don’t know me. But if you knew me right now, you’d say that was crazy. And it was. But I hit a point where I had to get serious about my health. Physically, and eventually, mentally as well. But for the physical part, I took a long, hard look at myself and promised myself that I would go ahead and do whatever I had to do to get this weight off. So I started working out. Spoke with a nutritionist. Changed so many of my daily habits. Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself when I make certain decisions. But I guess that’s a good thing sometimes.

    Today I’m 179 pounds. And while I can’t seem to get to my original goal of 175. Keeping off that much weight for this long is a win for me. I was at a point where I thought I was always going to be the person I saw in the mirror. I thought I’d always look in the mirror and dislike the woman looking back. But thank God for change. Thank God for growth. And honestly, thank God for Jekalyn Carr’s “It’s Yours 2.0”, specifically the live version. Because that 5 minutes and 10 seconds is how I started running. That song became my stopwatch. There’s a point in the song when she starts hollering, “Get it back, get it back. Get it back” over and over again. And every time I heard that on the treadmill, I would just push, push, and push, because I knew that I only had about a minute left. And that was just one minute of 5 minutes and 10 seconds. But for someone who used to only run to the couch or run to the refrigerator – That 5 minutes and 10 seconds meant the world.

    In the picture attached to this post, I’m running over an overpass in front of Bank of America Stadium. And I’m running in the heat, no less. Two things I would have never thought I’d do: run and be outside doing exercise In July temperatures. But there I am. My shirt Says “UNAFRAID.” And stitching the word unafraid is every verse in the Bible where the Lord tells someone, in some shape or form, to not be afraid. And that’s what it’s taken to get me to this point.

    I can’t be afraid.

    I can’t be afraid of failing.

    I can’t be afraid to walk into a gym not knowing what I’m doing.

    I can’t be afraid that I’m not as skinny as I’d like to be.

    I can’t be afraid to run outside in my Amazon-special or mismatched workout gear.

    I can’t be afraid to be around “real” runners.

    I can’t be afraid to be around people who appear more fit than me.

    I can’t be afraid to begin something scary because it’ll make me better.

    So this is more than just a workout playlist. These are anthems that pushed me through every workout when I was still heavier than I am today.

    When it hurt.

    When it sucked.

    When it was hot.

    When I was tired.

    These songs pulled me through every single time.

    If you need proof, just ask my annual Apple Music Replay. Thanks to this playlist, CeCe Winans’ “Believe for it” is always my number one song because I’ve played this playlist nearly every day of my life since summer 2022. I’ve added to it and I’ve adapted it, but it still rings true. Initially, it was set for the first few songs to be my stretching and warming up. By the time I got to “It’s Yours 2.0,” I was just about done. Since then, I’ve added more songs, and now I mostly shuffle it because the order doesn’t really matter as long as I hear the message in my head while I’m pushing through something I still don’t truly love to do but I understand now how important it is. And I legitimately don’t work out to anything else. Occasionally an audiobook if I’m just walking. But typically, it’s this playlist. And it’s not that a Beyoncé or Megan Thee Stallion or Spotify Workout Bangers or whatever playlist might be out there isn’t good. This is what does it for me.

    A few callouts:

    “Blessings on Blessings” by Naomi Raine and Tasha Cobbs Leonard is a whole vibe. Tasha gets to hollering “clothed in my right mind” at the end, and I tell you what – that’ll push you through whatever you’re facing that day. Whether in a workout, or if you’re just listening to it in general.

    “So Amazing” by Tye Tribbett & G.A. Tye was mixing rock and roll into worship long before it became common. Church kids like me loved it because we were also growing up during the rise of punk and emo. Somehow it felt familiar while still being rooted in scripture.

    “Owe You Praise” by Elevation Worship & Chandler Moore. This is my single favorite Elevation Worship song. There’s not a message that rings more true to me than, “When I think of all you’ve done, when I think of all you’ve brought me through. When I think about your love. I could never say enough Thank yous.” Every time I see myself in a mirror, whether post-workout, or all dressed up, I am incredibly grateful for my faith. Without my faith, I don’t know that I ever would’ve become healthier. And I wouldn’t be happier. And I wouldn’t smile at the girl – excuse me – the 40 year-old woman that I see. So I’m grateful. Grateful for Jesus. Grateful for grace and millionth chances.

    Whether you ever press play on this playlist or not, I hope you find whatever helps you take the next step toward the person you’re becoming.

    These songs helped me.

    Maybe something else will help you.

    Whatever it is…

    Keep going.

    Thanks for stopping by.

    🎧Listen on Apple | Spotify

  • 100 Concerts: Soundtrack to My Love of Live Music

    100 Concerts: Soundtrack to My Love of Live Music

    Keeping the celebration of my 100th (now technically 101st thanks to Morgan Wallen😉) concert going, I figured I’d put together a playlist featuring music from every artist I’ve seen live, beginning in summer 1999.

    This one’s for the music nerds.

    The rules were simple: I picked the first song that came to mind for each artist. I didn’t overthink it, because that’s how you end up spiraling into impossible decisions. Every artist is represented at least once, though not necessarily by the song they performed or the album they were touring when I saw them. A few artists earned repeat appearances, and a stellar opener or two made the cut as well. Shout out to Usher, Sam Smith, H.E.R., Janet Jackson, JOHNNYSWIM, Jon Splithoff, Chris Brown, Maxwell, Jazmine Sullivan, Kehlani and Morgan Wallen for putting on shows so good I had to run them back more than once.

    Sticking with the “first thing that came to mind” theme, I approached these notes the same way. I looked at each song and asked myself one simple question: Why this one? Sometimes the answer was obvious. Sometimes it surprised me. Either way, these are the songs that immediately transported me back to that concert, that season of life, or that particular memory.

    Originally, I planned to squeeze all 100 songs into one post, but somewhere around song fifty I realized… absolutely not. So this is Part One—the first 50 songs from the playlist. Part Two, featuring songs 51–100 and the stories behind them, is coming soon.

    In the meantime, go ahead and hit play. The full playlist is already waiting for you on Apple Music and Spotify. Thanks for reading—and even more for listening.

    Editor’s Note

    This playlist represents the soundtrack of my first 100 concerts—not an endorsement of every artist who appears in my concert history. In a few cases, I’ve intentionally chosen songs by opening acts or fellow performers whose music better represents the memory while also reflecting my values today. Memory and support aren’t always the same thing, and I wanted this playlist to honor both.

    Artist: *NSYNC

    Song: “I’ll Be Good for You”

      Why:  A deep cut that, to me, symbolized a shift in their sound and the beginning of their separation. It was on their second album, No Strings Attached. To me, it didn’t sound like anything they had done before but reflected what was to come on the Celebrity album one year later. It reflects who Justin is in present day.

      Artist: Christina Aguilera

      Song: Come On Over

      Why: This is classic, asymmetrical bob, needs to eat a sandwich Christina. This is finger to her left ear and hand waving to find the note Christina. And don’t let it be the video version. Shoutout to streaming media for making that available in present day versus the album version.

      Artist: CeCe Winans

      Song: Goodness of God

      Why: It’s the song I sing to myself when I can’t sleep at night. It embodies my spiritual journey over the last few years. God is incredibly great and I am insanely grateful.

      Artist: Point of Grace

      Song: Blue Skies

      Why: This is quintessential late 90s/early 2000s contemporary Christian pop. I won’t lie that this song and the next one I picked because I recognized them the most. I saw both groups at the same concert at the Carowinds theme park.

      Artist: FFH

      Song: Found a Place

      Why: Like I said, I recognized the title and it’s somewhat familiar from that time in my life when I was knee-deep in the odd culture of a southern Baptist-based, private Christian school.

      Artist: Usher

      Song: Climax

      Why: This is my first repeat artist. My first music crush. Shoutout to my oldest friend for giving me the My Way cd for my 12th birthday all those years ago. I have seen Usher three times over the course of my life. He was amazing every time. I chose Climax because there is something about the yearning, the desperation and the eventual resignation reflected in the bridge of this song. There are so many options for Usher but that bridge gets me every time.

      Artist: Janet Jackson

      Song: That’s the Way Love Goes

      Why: Miss Jackson if you’re nasty. My second repeat offender. I’ve seen Janet three times as well. And no matter how old she gets, the vibe is always right. When I was a kid, unlocking the code to MTV on my parents’ living room TV, I would always love it when I got to see the video for this song. Initially, it was because I recognized who I thought was Selena in the video (shoutout JLO). Eventually, however, I loved it because they looked like they were having the best time at that kickback in Janet‘s house. This is what I thought adulthood was like and I couldn’t wait.

      Artist: Carl Thomas

      Song: Summer Rain

      Why: Because You can’t help but cha-cha real smooth as soon as the beat drops. This was the one time that Carl Thomas wasn’t wearing a turtleneck sweater. Also, shout out to my God brother out in Seattle. We drank way too much one Friday night at homecoming and waited nearly 2 hours for Carl to come out on stage but it was worth every minute. 

      Artist: John Legend

      Song: Again

      Why: My third repeat offender. I saw him on Usher’s Confessions tour in 2004, his first tour in 2005 and on his most recent in 2026. He sang all the songs I love the most. Not this one actually, but it’s always spoken loudly to me. We’ve all been In that cyclical, insane but somehow worth every bit of drama love affair.

      Artist: Crime Mob

      Song: Rock Yo Hips

      Why: Mostly because I didn’t want to choose the obvious option. Of course I’m knuckin’ and buckin’ and ready to fight. But I would be lying if I said I  wasn’t at somebody’s free before 11 dripping in New York and Company with fluorescent Xs on my hand and dancing like no one was watching when this song came on.

      Artist: Keyshia Cole

      Song: Let It Go

      Why: Two reasons. First, as mentioned in the editors note, some artists have been removed due to the injustice and wrongs against others attached to their careers. Keyshia opened for R. Kelly in 2007 and we’re not streaming R. Kelly these days. Secondly, I wanted to use ”I Remember”, but it’s grayed out on the playlist so here we are.

      Artist: Tye Tribbett & GA

      Song: Bless the Lord

      Why: I love it when artists incorporate and revive old hymns in their music. The church kid and me always smiles because it takes me back to a time in place I’m hard-pressed to find these days in church. Also, I used to wonder what type of exercise routine Tye and his singers had. It was like the UniverSOUL Circus up there.

      Artist: Fred Hammond

      Song: We’re Blessed

      Why: Ain’t no gospel like 90s gospel. Specifically, 90s gospel with that subtle R&B/hip-hop vibe. There wasn’t a choir in the nation not singing this song at the annual concert. 

      Artist: Jay-Z

      Song: Encore

      Why: I love to hear horns and keys on hip-hop tracks. John Legend’s vocals and modulations at the end are top tier. Hov’s flow is unmatched and the Black Album is a classic.

      Artist: Mary J. Bilge 

      Song: All That I Can Say

      Why: My first meet and greet. There is no evidence of this because the radio station never sent me my picture. (I’m looking at you Power 98.) My homegirl called me very early in the morning to tell me that I was on the radio, and I needed to guess the next song that they played by Mary. Apparently, they’d already called two people who had gotten it wrong thanks to the title of the song never being mentioned in the lyrics. I sleepily answered, “Are you for real right now? That’s Family Affair.” We won two tickets and a limo ride to see Jay-Z and Mary plus the meet & greet in Greensboro. But the song – I love a bop. I love the ad libs at the end, and the incomparable Miss Lauryn Hill in the background.

      Artist: Raheem DeVaughn

      Song: You

      Why: It reminds me of late night drives in my Mustang with my college boyfriend. Going nowhere in particular and just vibing with each other.

      Artist: Kanye West

      Song: The New Workout Plan

      Why: I was introduced to this song via a basement party at UNC Greensboro in Summer 2004. I knew who Kanye was but College Dropout wasn’t out yet. Later that year, Kanye would open for Usher and take and hold his spot as my favorite rapper ever. I miss the old Kanye. For real.

      Artist: Boyz II Men

      Song: Doin’ Just Fine

      Why: It’s not a real R&B song unless someone is standing near or in some water with their shirt open and singing for their life. Wanye lost a little weight and was walking around with his taco meat out and singing those runs like his life depended on it.

      Artist: Gavin DeGraw

      Song: Free

      Why: I heard this song at High Point University’s fall concert series, and recognized it from an episode of One Tree Hill. Gavin was the honorary cast member of that show. If you know you know. I don’t necessarily remember why I loved it so much but when I selected it for the list, it was like I felt exactly what I felt that night in 2009 when I heard it live.

      Artist: Maxwell

      Song: Bad Habits

      Why: Mostly because this was my next meet and greet. He was on the BLACKsummer’snight Tour and this is my favorite song from that album. He smelled like vanilla and was shorter than I thought he would be. Still fine as ever though.

      Artist: Kings of Leon

      Song: Manhattan 

      Why: When I hear this song, I see my sister doing some silly dance that I could show you better than I can tell you. We used to play their first album nonstop, and we got to see them in summer of 2010. That was my first rock show. This song plays a very close second to Sex on Fire because, obviously.

      Artist: J. Cole 

      Song: Trouble

      Why: Born Sinner is such a dope album. Jermaine Has the ability to portray his fame and his feelings about it in a way that makes it seem almost normal. Of course he loved the attention and the women. Why wouldn’t he? But also, it was never the world he lived in and it bought him a myriad of trouble. 

      Artist: John Mayer 

      Song: Gravity (Live)

      Why: The song can be played in any form but it is so much better when it’s the specific live version recorded for the Where the Light Is album. It’s the way he plays it in every show. A show I’ve seen twice. John Mayer is one hell of a guitar player. More than that, lyrically, this song is beautiful. 

      Artist: Michael Bublé

      Song: Quando, Quando, Quando

      Why: The song features Nelly Furtado. It was cool to hear her singing something other than the top 40 hits she was known to blast. Michael has a timeless and unique tone that our generation didn’t really get to hear in real time. We heard about it through the likes Frank Sinatra and similar but he was truly able to embody the charisma and stage presence of a time that most of us didn’t get to experience. His shows are funny and filled with so much light. 

      Artist: The Weeknd 

      Song: Gone

      Why: Before he was scrambling through Raymond James Stadium during the Super Bowl halftime show, Abel was curating slow burn vibes and grooves that I used to ride out to nightly. I can recall many a porch night with a close knit group of friends, middle shelf liquor and his first three albums setting the tone.

      Artist: Trey Songz

      Song: Red Lipstick

      Why: Passion, Pain & Pleasure was a damn good album. Trey Songz is the king of an exaggerated ad lib wrapped in a complicated harmony, and this track is laced with them. 

      Artist: Miguel

      Song: Face the Sun

      Why: Another repeat purchase. I LOVED the Wildheart album down. Miguel reinvents his sound with every album, and I appreciated how he merged seamlessly into a gritty rock/soul lane for this album. This track gave Lenny Kravitz in the 90s. I also love a good vamp that feels like speeding down a highway with the wind at your back nothing but good times ahead. 

      Artist: Maroon 5

      Song: Sunday Morning

      Why: This is my favorite Maroon 5 song. My number two go-to karaoke tune. (#1 is SWV “Weak” – ask about me😉)Maroon 5 doesn’t make music like this anymore. Songs About Jane is unlike any of their other albums. It’s bluesy, jazzy and raw.

      Artist: Kelly Clarkson

      Song: Move You

      Why: Let’s be honest, Kelly can sing anything. Now while she is one of the greatest voices of our generation, I will admit that I voted against her on American Idol. I had a dangerous infatuation with Justin Guarini. I take nothing back. In present day, however, this track plays on my inner romantic. The idea of meaning this much to someone is nice.

      Artist: One Republic 

      Song: If I Lose Myself 

      Why: I preferred a track from their debut album, “Say (All I Need)” but was unable to add it to the playlist. I recall bobbing and weaving through a crowd in uptown Charlotte as the band belted this song. They were one of the featured artists for the Rich & Bennett Annual Halloween Bar Crawl and Concert. Thanks to insane crowds of drunken and Halloween-clad partygoers, I never actually saw them on stage. But I could hear them.

      Artist: Flo Rida

      Song: I Don’t Like It, I Love It

      Why: I had to pick something I suppose. I enjoy FloRIda the way any millennial enjoys FloRida – in my memory and only if I’ve been drinking. I understand the cultural significance of so many of his hits, but he was never my favorite. This song, however, featured one of my favs, Robin Thicke. The little whimsy whistle and skip-to-my-lou bounce of the chorus didn’t hurt either. 

      Artist: JOHNNYSWIM

      Song: Touching Heaven 

      Why: My sister and I have seen JOHNNYSWIM every single time they’ve played in Charlotte since 2014. Love these two. They are a husband and wife duo who met singing at church in the early 2000s. Fun fact, the wife, Amanda, is the daughter of the iconic Donna Summer. We secured our meet and greet during their 2022 tour, The JOHNNYSWIM Show. They’re one of the few artists whose tickets I will purchase without ever hearing the new music. I trust their talent and I know it’s going to be good.

      Artist: Danity Kane

      Song: Key to My Heart

      Why: Because “Damaged” is too obvious. Because my friends and I used to belt this song out in my Mustang while on the way to whatever party or club during senior year of college. Because despite the BS, Danity Kane is one of the many things Sean Combs got right.

      Artist: Jazmine Sullivan 

      Song: Lost One (Live)

      Why: During covid, and leading up to her album, Jazmine released a series of live performances from her home and this version sends me into a frenzy each time I hear it. I love it for the one I loved and lost. LOML💕

      Artist: Chris Brown

      Song: No Guidance 

      Why: Another repeat offender. There are a few songs that I am going to sing and dance to as long as I’m able. This is one of them. Say what you will about both Christopher Maurice and Aubrey Graham – they made a banger. Say it with me now, “FREAKY! Freakyyyyyyyyyyyy…” IYKYK😏

      Artist: Tyga 

      Song: Ayo

      Why: Mostly because I’m pretty sure this song had that same beat that a lot of songs had between 2014 and 2016. It always gave fun, summer vibes. Also, I didn’t want to choose the obvious, Rack City. Nothing against it but I try to be a little more original.

      Artist: Sam Smith

      Song: Latch (Acoustic)

      Why: Another repeat offender. Sam’s first two albums are gold. I ran In the Lonely Hour into the ground. Latch was always a solid song with Disclosure, but then when he put the acoustic out, it leveled up. I feel like it was meant to be stripped down to the just the piano and his voice. Also, it holds a special place in my heart because that’s the song that my best friend chose for me to walk the aisle as Maid of Honor in her wedding. Absolutely beautiful.

      Artist: Rihanna

      Song: Kiss It Better

      Why: If I’d known Robyn Rihanna Fenty was NEVER putting out music again, I wouldn’t have been so lit up at this show. I chose Kiss It Better because for whatever reason, that is the song I remember the most from the show. It was her encore song and it sounded so good live. I recall sobering up in those moments and realizing the show was almost over. A shame really.

      Artist: James Bay

      Song: Move Together

      Why: I just liked this one the most. The album was solid, and the show was great. This song stuck with me.

      Artist: Pretty Ricky

      Song: On the Hotline

      Why: Because I couldn’t select anything from their first album. And that is absurd. (Looking at you, Apple Music). I preferred either “Shorty Be Mine” or “Ain’t Nothin But a Number.” But here we are. Pretty Ricky was a time indeed. Shoutout to my college boyfriend wherever you are.

      Artist: Faith Evans

      Song: Love Like This

      Why: Per the editor’s note, I gave Sean Comb’s spot to Ms. Evans. She came out on the Bad Boy Reunion Tour and sang like it was still 1998. And anytime this song is played, I am guaranteed to dance and pretend I’m skating backwards.

      Artist: BJ the Chicago Kid

      Song: Jeremiah/World Needs More Love

      Why: He missed that woman real bad. Bad enough to make a biblical reference and squall on the track. That, friends, is my kind of carrying on.

      Artist: Chance the Rapper

      Song: Finish Line/Drown

      Why: Chance’s Coloring Book Tour is in my top five shows. There was something about a sold out venue being captivated by this young man sharing his faith journey through song. I don’t even think some of those concert goers understood this and several other songs from the album or lowkey altar call he held just before performing this song. But so many did feel it. And it was amazing.

      Artist: Bruno Mars

      Song: Just the Way You Are

      Why: Bruno is also in my top five shows. That 24K Magic Tour was fantastic. This was his second to last song and for the most part, the crowd sang it. He turned the lights up and they had a drone flying around to show all the people singing and hugging whoever joined them at the show. I was with my sister, and we sang our hearts out. It was a moment wrapped fully in the cheese and corn of the lyrics. And I loved every single minute.

      Artist: H.E.R.

      Song: Make It Rain (Live at Austin City Limits)

      Why: Just YouTube the performance. My word. I’ve seen her perform it twice now, and it was top tier both times. Her background singers are SINGING, ok?! And she is cutting clean up on that guitar. It’s not even her song. Go off, sis.

      Artist: Thirdstory

      Song: Still in Love

      Why: Man. Talk about gone too soon. Look these guys up on YouTube. Their covers are unmatched. Specifically, their rendition of “Hotline Bling” – is second to none I’ve heard. The chosen song however, is a beautiful acoustic track with Eryn Allen Kane and they are singing something serious. Fun fact, they provided background vocals for Chance the Rapper on his tour. I wish they were still together.

      Artist: Grace Weber

      Song: More Than Friends

      Why: I haven’t necessarily included openers on this list, but I discovered Grace at the Thirdstory concert. She was a whole vibe. She and Elliott from Thirdstory have a beautiful cover of Rihanna’s “Stay” on YouTube.

      Artist: Tori Kelly

      Song: Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing

      Why: I am certain that the entire studio was on their feet, throwing their shoes and carrying on when Tori recorded this cover. I think Stevie even got in the car and drove to the studio himself to hear it. It’s that good. What a voice.

      Artist: The Internet

      Song: Go with It

      Why: Ego Death is such a good album, man. Such a vibe. Syd writes a good song for real. Also, seeing them on tour introduced me to Moonchild, and for that I say thank you.

      Artist: Jidenna

      Song: Trampoline

      Why: Partially because Jidenna is fine. Partially because I love when artists find unique ways to describe strippers. “The lady ain’t a tramp just ’cause she bounce it up and down like a trampoline.”

      Stay tuned for Part II coming soon! For now, pick your favorite platform and stream away. Thanks for stopping by.

      🎧 Listen: Apple | Spotify

    1. The Space Between Big Moments

      The Space Between Big Moments

      Wednesday, June 24, 2026. A mostly ordinary day with some pretty extraordinary moments.

      That’s the short version.

      The longer version is that my dog took the biggest poop of his career in the backseat of my car before I ever made it out of Charlotte.

      Not only did Cameron poop all over the backseat, he immediately decided he couldn’t possibly remain near the scene of his own crime. He climbed under the seat cover, onto my actual seat, somehow got poop on both back paws, and delayed my morning by forty-seven minutes.

      Forty-seven.

      Not forty-five.

      Forty-seven.

      So that’s the energy I brought into Wednesday.

      Eventually, I made it to Durham.

      I worked for a little while because, you know, bills. 

      Why Durham, you ask? My best friend of 20 years brought a baby into this world on Tuesday. So I went to Durham. I held my best friend’s brand-new baby until I couldn’t stop smelling her little face.

      I wandered into a record store and bought a few obscure jazz albums for three dollars each because apparently that’s the kind of sentence I get to say about my life now.

      I checked into a hotel that was much cuter than I expected. My room was upgraded to a king suite. Love that for me.

      I touched up my makeup.

      Then I opened Google Maps and searched for somewhere to eat.

      Not fast food.

      Not the empty hotel bar.

      Not the steakhouse next door, even though I thought about it.

      I wanted somewhere that looked like somebody cared about the cocktails.

      That’s all.

      I wasn’t looking for a life-changing evening.

      I was looking for a bartender who respected tequila.

      Bar Virgil delivered.

      The bartender recommended an off-menu hibiscus-infused tequila cocktail that deserved to be on the menu. I started with a bourbon-mezcal drink. I finished dinner with another tequila cocktail because the people sitting around me kept ordering it and curiosity got the better of me.

      The smash burger was exactly what I wanted.

      The fries were excellent.

      The playlist was…there. I don’t remember a single song.

      The most entertaining conversation of the night belonged to a maid of honor who absolutely hated the bride. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. She simply wasn’t interested in lowering her voice. Eventually I laughed and made a comment because there was no way I was pretending not to hear any of this.

      Nobody flirted with me.

      Nobody bought me a drink.

      Nobody asked for my number.

      Nothing remarkable happened.

      Except… I got exactly what I came for.

      That realization didn’t hit me until I was back in my hotel room. Because that’s where the other version of me showed up. She’s been around for years. She’s the one who always wonders if there’s another story waiting somewhere else.

      Maybe I should go downstairs.

      Maybe the hotel bar has come alive.

      Maybe there’s another place within walking distance.

      Maybe I should keep the night going.

      Maybe.

      She’s always looking over the horizon for the next thing. Not because she isn’t grateful. Because she’s afraid she’s leaving something on the table.

      The funny thing is… I don’t think she ever completely goes away.

      She still lives here.

      She still asks the questions.

      But for the first time in a long time, she wasn’t driving.

      Because another voice had gotten a little louder.

      The one that quietly said, “You wanted a good cocktail. You wanted a good meal. You wanted to get out of the hotel room for a while. You did that.”

      There was nothing left to chase.

      That’s a strange realization for someone who has spent so much of her life chasing.

      Chasing the next promotion.

      The next relationship.

      The next apartment.

      The next version of herself.

      The next milestone.

      Even now, I have goals.

      I want to move.

      I want a yard for my dog.

      I want to keep getting healthier.

      I want to write.

      I still hope I’ll meet someone someday.

      None of that disappeared over three cocktails in Durham.

      But maybe there’s a difference between living with hope and living with the constant feeling that somewhere else is where life is happening.

      Because life happened on Wednesday.

      Not dramatically.

      Not cinematically.

      It happened while I held the little girl my best friend brought into the world.

      While I found old jazz records.

      While I talked to a bartender about tequila.

      While I listened to a stranger complain about a bride she clearly shouldn’t have agreed to stand beside.

      While I walked back to my hotel.

      Nothing happened.

      And somehow… that’s exactly why I think I’ll remember it.

      Maybe getting older isn’t about wanting less.

      Maybe it’s about finally recognizing when enough has quietly arrived and having the courage to stop looking over your shoulder for something bigger.

    2. Concert #100: A Time Machine

      Concert #100: A Time Machine

      On Wednesday, June 10, I attended my 100th concert. And while the number itself wasn’t a surprise because I have meticulously recounted and written down all of the shows I’ve seen to date, when I went to log that show in my notes, it made me pause. I began to think about why concerts have remained such a constant in my life.

      If I consider what attending 100 concerts over the course of my 40 years of life means, the obvious answer is a lot of money spent. (Shoutout to my parents for the tickets to the shows prior to my early 20s :-D). I consider that those 100 shows are more than just entertainment.  I consider that those 100 shows serve as time machines or markers in time. Certain songs, certain artists, certain venues – Each marker in time connects to a different version of me. They connect to a different season in my life. They connect to memories that I can recall as soon as I hear a particular song. 

      I recall rich and Bennetts 2013 Halloween bar crawl and Concert. A staple in Charlotte and a must attend event for anyone old enough to drink and have a good time. I went to several of those bar crawl and concert combos in my 20s. 2013 was the last one. OneRepublic and Flo Rida where the headliners. That was The year my social circle changed. That was one of the last nights I hung out with some of those people. 

      I reflect on John Legend‘s 2005 Get Lifted tour. I had just completed my freshman year of college. My boyfriend at the time bought tickets for my birthday. It was at Oven’s Auditorium. I wore white capri pants and he wore a Miami Dolphins throwback I bought for his birthday a few months before. He wasn’t a huge fan but he knew that I had worn that CD clean out in my Mustang CD player all year long and bought the tickets just for me.

      Concerts remind me of friendship. I saw Danity Kane in 2014 on a reunion tour with three of my friends from college. And not just friends from college. Friends who used to come to my apartment on Monday nights to make margaritas and watch Making the Band before Danity Kane became famous for real. We screamed the lyrics of “Damaged” like it was 2008 all over again. 

      On February 8, 2025, I saw a folk/rock singer named Alex Lambert at the Neighborhood Theater here. I don’t really remember that show. It was two days after my godmother’s funeral. I remember my head feeling foggy for several weeks around that time. The guy could sing and play the guitar something serious but I honestly don’t remember it. I just remember feeling heavy because of everything that was going on.

      Concerts are a source of pure joy. I recall the kingdom tour with Maverick City Music and Kirk Franklin in 2022. I’d seen Maverick City before and they’re great. But when Kirk Franklin got up there and started splitting the audience into altos, sopranos and tenors and had us all singing our parts for Melodies from Heaven and Silver and Gold? The little church kid in me was so happy. And I was surrounded by thousands of other former church kids who sang like we were all members of the same choir for just that one night. It was beautiful.

      And after reflecting on those pivotal moments or concerts or markers in time, I realized that it’s not about the concerts at all. It’s about consistency. It’s about things that remain the same when everything else changes. Somewhere between concert #1 and concert #100, I realized something. Concerts are one of the few things I never stopped loving.

      Jobs changed.

      Relationships changed.

      Cities changed.

      Friend groups shifted.

      Hobbies came and went.

      My faith was lost and found. 

      But through all of it, I kept pressing play on all of the music that I love. There is something beautiful about identifying the things that survive every season of your life. Not many people get to say they have loved something consistently enough to do it 100 times.

      Show #100 was Summer Walker. Her Still Finally Over It Tour. It wasn’t the best or my favorite concert that I’ve attended but it was special. It was special because I went with my favorite cousin (Shoutout to all my favorite cousins – y’all know who you are ;-D) It was special because standing in the crowd hearing songs from her early career days – songs I streamed on the daily at a particular time of my life – it hit different in those moments than whenever I played them before. But they sounded just like I needed them to.

      Maybe that’s why concert #100 felt different.

      Not because it was Summer Walker and I have been waiting to scream out the lyrics to “Session 32” ever since I bought those tickets in February.

      Not because it was a milestone.

      But because at 40 years old, I found myself taking inventory of what remains. What still feels like me after all these years. The answer isn’t complicated.

      It’s music. 

      It’s standing in a crowd waiting for the lights to go down. 

      It’s hearing the opening notes of a song I love. 

      It’s remembering who I was and appreciating who I’ve become. 

      One hundred concerts later, I still haven’t outgrown the feeling of sharing a moment – hearing songs I love with thousands of strangers who love them too.

    3. Babygirl, you got it

      Babygirl, you got it

      Editor’s Note (June 2026): I originally wrote this piece in the summer of 2024, and I wanted to preserve it as it was. The playlist below was created during that season of my life and reflects what I was listening to then. While I’ve added a few songs over the years, I now keep separate playlists for my secular and gospel music. Even so, this one still feels like an honest snapshot of who I was—and in many ways, who I still am. Consider it a musical time capsule rather than a brand-new playlist.

      Welcome to Rhythm portion of the blog. Here I’ll typically update you on what’s currently burning a hole in my AirPods, musings on concerts I’m looking forward to or have recently attended, commentary on new or anticipated music and playlists to support a variety of moments, occasions or moods. I’ll provide Apple Music and Spotify links for the playlists. Feel free to download, share and even adapt them to fit your needs. Stop back by and let me know what razzle dazzle you sprinkled in there. One of my favorite pastimes is sharing music so I welcome the collaboration and discussion. 

      This inaugural Rhythm post will be slightly different from the subsequent entries., I figured I would share my go-to pump me up, blowing kisses in the mirror saying “Sis you my boo” playlist. If there is anything definitive I can say about music, it’s that it holds the power to pull me out of a place of sadness, anxiety, aggravation, self-loathing and even loneliness and thrust me full force into a feeling of beautifully bold bad bitchery – second only to how I feel after a good sermon on a Sunday morning. The playlist originated around my 37th birthday. I was coming off a year of changes in my personal and professional life, and headed into what was shaping up to be a shenanigan-filled summer, and unbeknownst to me, a rocky fall and winter. I wanted to harness the myriad of emotions I was experiencing at the time. Some days I was so impressed with myself, I channeled my inner Beyonce. Some days, I wanted to chuck an index-less finger peace sign to my haters and could only be soothed by Megan the Stallion. Other days, I was in the middle of a classic, late thirties, ‘omg what is my life’ menty b and needed the embrace of some good ol’ Jesus music to remind me of how blessed I truly was and how far I’d come.  Of course, the playlist has been updated since its inception, and will no doubt continue to evolve as my life ebbs and flows; but the purpose remains the same. I can press play on this bad boy while getting ready to head out, cleaning up my apartment or just because I want to hear some solid ‘love and appreciate yourself and your life’ vibes. So, let’s dive in:-)

      Playlist Name: Babygirl, You Got it

      Play It When: When that fit is hugging you just right, all the lights were green, your cute neighbor checked you out in the gym mirror, you got the good news you’ve been waiting for and you feel on top of the world. Or, press play when none of those things are true and maybe you need to be reminded just how amazing you are and how beautiful this life truly is.

      Current Fav (at time of writing): “Inner Me” by Francesca (7/22/24)

      Listen on: Apple Music | Spotify